Our Journey

As you read my past blogs you should know by now that my daughter was born with bilateral clubfoot and that was the whole reason I started this blog. And man it's been a very stressful hard journey. If I knew half of the stuff that I know now back when I first started her treatment I would have found a doctor way better treat her feet then now. With this virus that's going around she has to stop physical therapy because her facility is closed so I've been doing what I can at home and it is very hard because all I am doing is stretches. She started to start falling again in tripping because her poor feet are not staying straight but her heal is staying down she started to walk on her heel on one foot I'm just ready for a doctor to fix for her feet the right way instead of giving me the go around.  I'm ready for her physical therapist facility to be back open I'm ready for her feet to be fully corrected I'm ready for the falling to stop, the knock kneed., alon...

So I know I haven't posted a Blog in awhile sorry about that things have just been crazy and I just don't know what to post about right now. So I'm just going to sit and talk about random stuff and title it random LOL. First thing when talking about is never ever ever take your card to Walmart to get an oil change I am like so frustrated right now because I took my van and November to get an oil change and will they touches my radiator cap which I did not know about and I drove my vehicle for a few days with it just placed on there instead of screwed down and I came home one day after taking my son to his therapy and my car steamed up real bad under find out my radiator is cracked and that's going to cost me $353 to get it fixed it keep in mind I don't have. I'm ready for things to be back to normal due to the covid-19 virus but I am worried about about an outbreak just like what happened in China and they're predicting in the fall that it could be ten times...

So its the start of allergies and boy are they messing up with my son and I. For a while we have been dealing with bloody noses from my son and it is starting to frustrate me. I don't know why my son keeps on getting nose bleeds everyday. I know he is tired of it and I am also. I've talked to his PCP about it and they are waiting to wait for his ENT records to try to do something different. He has had I believe 4 nose surgeries in four and a half years and I really don't want to have him do another one. I know if its good to do then I will but I was hoping he would out grow it. But i don't think he is out growing the nose bleeds. It's the 11th of April and he has had nine days worth of bloody noses. As a mom you wish you had all of the answers and a solution to stop them. I wish the doctors could figure out what is causing the nose bleeds because well I'm tired of always being frustrated. I guess from here I'm going to take it day by day and try to not worry...

So I read a Blog well that's what I'm calling it. I am sure I'm not the only one that heard of love what matters. If you haven't well Facebook page. Anyways there was a post from a fellow military wife and it hit two home. It made me cry and to realize hey I am not alone and all the stresses that I'm facing it's okay to cry. I always try to be strong for my children and myself and my hubby but let's face it right now things are hard. I have so many worries and not many family around to talk and cry with. Heck I don't even really have friends around me. And with this stay home because of the covid19 like it matters anyways. But when you are trying to juggle being a mom wife and now + teacher it's kind of hard. And when you add the school work let's just say my son is getting frustrated a lot. The point of this blog today is to tell you it's okay to cry, get mad and be worried. But remember that in the end all of us will end up stronger and fin...

Wow I haven't posted anything for twenty-three days sorry y'all. So I figured I would update on everything that's going on with us. First it will be my children updates. My daughter is doing good its been a journey on making sure I try to do the right things. We went to a new orthro doc and well lets just say I didn't like what he had to say. He told me to stop doing the afos and let her just walk in shoes or without shoes and just do her bnb at night. Well I did that for ONE day and she fall so many times her poor knees were cut up and kept on asking to put her afos on so I let her. He didn't want to do any other brace besides the bnb so I'm mad there because he's not the one here dealing with her not sleeping. She had to stop physical therapy for a while due to Coronavirus shutting down offices. I also think she has my allergies shes so far had three bloody noses. I do stretching at home on her feet and I hope I can find a better doc for her. My son is out...

Let's talk jobs here for a second. So I've been a stay at home mom since I had my daughter in February 2017. And I was on maternity leave so I truly stopped working in March 2017. Lets just say that finding a job now is HARD. I don't have a lot of flexibility and with us only having one vehicle. Things are hard right now. If I knew that job hunting would be hard once I think I can go back to work I would never of quiet. But lets face it, my life is not easy. Why? Because of the constantly traveling to doctor appointments and therapies. I just wish that my graphic design business and photography was making more $ then what it was so That I wouldn't always be worried about bills and rent. I'm praying things will get better for my family but I can never get ahead. I'm emotionally worn out and stressed. I feel like I'm always doing a bad job of being a mother to my children. Here is to praying things will get better. This is my little rant today. I will have som...

So I've been graphic designing since I was 16 years old. And I LOVE IT is a understatement. I've come a long way since I first started at being a teen. I opened my own business called Loving My Heroes Designs and its been a bumpy road only because sells are down but it will get better. I just had a client ask me to do a mermaid themed design and I'm loving all of the items that I have made. I know a lot of people now also do graphic design but this is my year and I have faith I will get a lot of sales. I recently started to do watermarks, logos, and cover photos for photographers and I hope I become a big hit with that. For now I'll just leave all of my links in this blog for people to buy clothing from me. And if you want something custom made feel free to comment on this blog or find my fb group Loving My Heroes Designs. I just don't make clothing now I also do jewelry items. Item number 4 is the one I update the most but all of the others have items on it too m...

So one thing that has been hard on my son is getting to play sports. He is 9 year old and since he was out of preschool he hasn't gotten to join a sports team or do a sport UNTIL today. He wanted to play soccer but the funding is not always there. In Fayetteville Ar the school he went to does sports day camp every day after school and he loved it but he missed two days out of five due to his therapies. And i can say that he missed it due to us moving away. He also lost his friends. But now he has no friends. His new school well the coach lucky decided to do tennis camp and he asked to join and I said yes since it is every Wednesday. Today was day one and when I picked him up he was happy and he had a lot of fun. He even talked about how they did a craft doing the club. And how many pointed they all did. This is just the beginning of tennis club but he told me he loves tennis so I hope he keeps on saying that and growing to like tennis or any sport and being more active. He has a bu...

So I meant to post this yesterday, but i forgot and i also had a fussy daughter when I was going to write/post this. But have you ever had your child ask for something and at the time couldn't get it?  Well you could but because your child had her legs in casts you didn't buy it. Well on Sunday was the day I was finally able to buy an item that my daughter has been asking for and to see the big smile and how happy she is buying it now is worth it. The item I bought was a Minnie Mouse scooter. And well I couldn't wait to give it to her for her birthday. The weather has been so nice so on Monday we went out side and she rode it for a while. Lets just say it was hard to get her back inside once it was time for us to get ready to go to get her big brother.  Now the weather has rainy and we may get snow so we have been staying inside & she's getting tired of being inside all of the time. But she has been riding it in the house. People say that a clubfoot journey is not...

Why is job hunting so hard? You got to find a job that works around your busy schedule for your children. I'm going to admit its hard, we need the money to support us but I also don't want to be to stressed out to where i hurt my body. I wish this journey was easy but its not. I love my children dearly but sometimes its hard when you don't have me time. So i decided to work from home but thats hard to do when there are so many other photographers in my town. I just wish I could make the $ i need for my family plus car repairs. Here is to praying things get better. Thanks for reading my little rant and my frustration.

So I don't even know where to go from here. I guess you can say I hit a Big bump in our journey. On Friday I got a call from the Orthopedic doctor that I give medical records for my daughter & sadly he can't treat her so now I'm back to looking for a doctor who will correct my daughter right and listen to me. I have so many worries about her feet and I just want her feet corrected and straight. I know we will get there soon. I am hoping to find a orthopedic doctor in Oklahoma or maybe Kansas. I just don't have the money to go to St Louis Mo to see Dr. Dobbs to fix her feet. I just don't have the money to pay out of pocket for his bill plus the gas and sleeping in a hotel. I wish he wasn't the only doctor who was really good at fixing a child's feet when they have club-foot. Or atleast other doctors would change their methods and see that not all children are the same. I guess lets wait and see what happens next. I hope I find a doctor here in Arkansas th...

So I feel like i failed my daughter today. Her braces hurt her today.  How do you ask well, Due to them being worn for to they gave her a big blister today. I feel like i can't do anything right when it comes to her feet or legs. I wish i could have them fully corrected. I wish i could prevent them from always hurting her. I wish that i could take away the swelling. I love my daughter so much and I'm tried of seeing her hurt. I thought i had a Big win today, I found shoes that she can wear with her pretty braces and in the end i ended up giving her a blister. I get its a adjustment period with her wearing them but I just wish things would go smooth. I hope this journey gets better because I am not a lose at what i can do. I'm at a lose on how to prevent her from getting blisters or getting tired of walking or pain. Here is to our walk of getting her feet corrected and to well the up and downs. I wish this on no one, Having a child with bilateral club foot is a HARD journey....

This is to the parents that are struggling right now and thinking that things will not go good or work right. Remember that YOU are an Amazing parent and you have child(children) who love you no matter what. And if you feel like you need a support reach out to other parents. We deserve friends our own and hey if they have a child the same age as yours thats a plus. Always remember things will get better and go day by day and breathe and take a step back. I'm rooting for you! We all struggle and moments will get better.

I'm so frustrated with people when you get any animal you are supposed to care for that animal until the day comes of the animal passing away. You are supposed to care for the animal in the good, bad, and ugly. You are also supposed to give them the shots they need and if need be fix them. Not just throw them out of your house like they are garbage and then they got to defend for themselves. How would you feel if I did that to you??? A dog, cat and any other animal has a life & a purpose and a meaning. Why do you think a animal has no life?? Ugh i can just keep on going and going but im stopping. We all need to change how we treat animals

Well it's been a hard month for me and my family. Between having my brand new tires show the thread and then more repairs need to be done on van. To well my rent check being hacked and it was returned to me but it was missing $252. So my February rent I got to give my landlord $1,000 dollars. Which is hard to make right now. My papa ended up in the hospital for low blood sugar and I'm worried about him. My children are doing well in their therapies.  I'm working on my two books but it's slow. I wish I had someone to help me with the $. But everyone comes to me when they have a problem with $. And i cant help people no more. I find out tomorrow if i still have a job or not. I'm almost done with training. I pray and hope things will get better for myself and my family(my children) 

On Friday my sweet little princess finally got her braces for her feet that go in her tennis shoe to help her with walking. The waiting game is over and now we just got to wait for her to get her tennis shoes that go with the brace because the tennis shoes we tried were too small. I didn't know this but the tennis shoes come from Japan for braces and what a shock so the company that made the braces ordered from a company here in the United States and we just now need to wait for them to being mailed here to pick up. This is one step closer to getting her feet fixed once again I am now looking for a new orthopedic doctor. I wish this journey wasn't so hard but it is and I will get there to where she's corrected fully or a doctor who doesn't lie to me about my daughter's feet. I wish she was never born with bilateral clubfoot but it's a part of her and we will get there on getting her feet and legs fixed. I hope the next doc I find will tell me the truth. What...

So I at first didn't know what to say with these pictures that I took of my daddy's dog tags and the last three necklaces he got for me. But then i decided how about I talk from the heart. Which i'm not sure if anyone that likes this page may like. Life as a military child is hard. You see the person who is raising you coming and going and well being in harms away. The next thing thats even harder is having to bury your parent at a young age. You end up growing up to fast and always having a void in your heart. The day I lost my daddy I was in denial. Heck to this day I still dream that all of this is a dream sometimes & that he will walk through the door. And those dreams ARE so hard to have because he won't be walking through that door. But instead he is in Heaven. I'm now telling my children all that I can about their grandfather. So my listen or wisdom of strength hug tighter, build memories, take pictures, record, and Love.